Random Variable Tabloidery 4#

Personals and Positions Vacant

Dream of working in law enforcement? The Administration seeks qualified deputies to combat crime in areas such as theft  and squatting, while insuring public safety. Be prepared for long but rewarding hours. Uniform and horse supplied.  Contact Nottingham Sheriff’s Dept for a PD.

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Elderly gent, deer farmer and charity worker seeks female for companionship/business partnership. She must like large men with beards and the colour red. Must be prepared to work over Yule festivities. Responses to PO Box North Pole.

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Disenfranchised aristocrat/soldier seeks band of brothers for commune and charity work. Must be merry.  Also wanted: one maid for general cleaning and cooking duties. All job seekers welcome to apply, send resume and cover letter addressed to Robin c/o Sherwood Forest.

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Urgent: Burning to get involved? Female peasant, French speaker, mystic and cross dresser, seeks patron to supply an army to defeat the English. Must be Catholic. Apply in person to Joan. No written applications please as they cannot be read.

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Short, ambitious military leader with a penchant for triquarter hats needs older children of the revolution to become loyal supporters in a quest to dominate Europe. If you want adventure as well as a rewarding career in the public service, look no further than  Napoleon and Lucien Bonaparte via Corsica ASAP. Royalists need not apply.

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About Becadroit

A writer.
This entry was posted in Faux News, Writing and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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